Today’s life lesson is brought to you by Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers) and by the insatiable hunger for truth (which is probably causing that hangry feeling—go eat an apple or something).

Warning: This thin little book packs in wisdom and guidance that will knock you off your chair if you approach it unprepared. Trust me, I speak from experience.

“If I am not for myself, who will be for myself? And If I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?”

Ah, Hillel. Always packing a wallop with his insightful wisdom.

Let’s unpack, shall we?

If I am not for myself, who will be for me?

I think it’s safe to say that many of us walk around with the belief that we owe the world something, and that we are owed something in return. We’ve done a fairly decent job of creating a breeding ground within modern society that holds the deeply rooted belief that we are owed something. And when we don’t receive that which we are owed, all hell breaks loose.

I’ll let you in on a little secret: We’re not. And another thing? Your life—your life—is in your hands. Your life is your responsibility. If you will not take responsibility for yourself, who will? No one.

We’ve turned outward as individuals, seeking advice, guidance, and a path in the words of others. Listen, that’s fine. Guidance is good. But don’t mistake it with the Golden Word that lives within you. At the end of the day, it’s up to you to find the courage to be your own guide, and to fill your own vessel.

Put yourself first, says Hillel.

Listen, my friends. Your happiness is in your hands, not anyone else’s. How we came to the idea that our lives belong to others is beyond me, but it stops here. An empty vessel cannot yield satisfying results.

If I am only for myself, what am I?

Herein lies the beauty of this passage. Putting yourself first is a positive thing. Choosing your path and walking in the direction of your happiness is an excellent move. However, if your focus becomes about you and you alone, you’re in trouble.

Once your vessel is full, the contents have to spill out somewhere right? Though you must recognize your own strengths and unique potential in this world, you cannot forget the collective community, without which you will not succeed.

When does your unique potential yield success? When it is used for the good of others. Putting yourself first is only deemed selfish when you don’t take the step towards utilizing your deeds for others. Hashem gave you a job to do. It requires skill, it requires talent, and it requires knowing how to give without draining yourself dry, while equally not over-saturating yourself with your own worth.

This dance requires the skill of balance and a heck of a lot of patience.

If not now, when?

Torah and it’s many commentaries are all about seizing the day. Don’t wait for a better opportunity to find what it is you love or to share it if you’ve already found it. There will never be a better opportunity, only another busy tomorrow.

The initial step of putting yourself first is hard…it’ll be harder than you anticipate. And, I know you don’t need permission, but just in case you think you do: I hereby grant you permission to be yourself.

Go on, try it.

Onward, soldiers.